Lost Love
By Starlight Rose

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first spoiler warning. My Miyu fics weren't really
packed with spoilers--"Bound" was stringing together a few bits of memories, and
"Lovers" was entirely my own. However, most of my Mamalade Boy fics are straight out of the television series-I merely put thoughts to words. So I wouldn't read this until you've seen Marmalade Boy episode #26, or unless you just don't care. (Or if you {gasp} don't know what Marmalade Boy IS). I'm not explaining anything about the series in the story--it slows down the pace. Please...I urge you to learn more about the series before reading this, if you haven't seen up to the aforementioned episode. Thank you and good night. ^_^

I can feel Miki's presence as she walks down the stairs. Over the past several months I've come to know her step. I could pick out Miki's footsteps in a crowded street. I turn around to acknowledge her.

"Let's go home, Yuu."

Angel.

I stare back at the sea. "Just a little longer."

She sighs. "You've been sitting here an hour."

"That's why I told you to go on ahead."

The wind blows sharply past me and I resist the urge to shiver. Perhaps I am entering an unconscious punishment; I really don't know. All I know is Miki--and her gaze is currently piercing my back.

"The wind's getting cold," she says, quietly. "You're gonna get sick. Let's go home."

I am distant. "Yes, I just noticed."

"Just noticed?"

I turn around and look at her.

Angel.

"Will you warm me up?" I ask, pulling her hand towards me and burying my head in her chest.

Miki is nervous. "Y...Yuu. W-wait...Yuu!"

I am doing something that is not normally me.

I am opening my heart up to another.

"I believed he was the one all this time." I hug her tightly, not wanting to let her go. Ever. And I begin to cry.

I never cry.

Miki holds me to her, unmoving, silent. I can feel her crying with me. I hear her whisper my name and hold me closer to warm me as the harsh wind blows ever on.

We sit for some time until I finally regain my composure and we both rise and walk along the beach towards home.

I must say something to her.

Angel.

"When I found out Youji wasn't my father," I start, "I was shocked. I felt I shouldn't have been born, that I was denied my existence. I didn't want to talk to my parents for a month, or see them either." I kick a conch shell into the frothing waves. "But, after a long time thinking, I appreciated my mother for giving me birth...and my father, who's taken care of me." My eyes remain transfixed on the shell being lapped by the tips of the reaching waves. "Since then, I haven't believed in anyone. I'm afraid of being betrayed. I can't show my straight feelings. I didn't think I cared."

I want to know what Miki is thinking. I want to know what runs through her head.

I want her love.

I begin to walk again, changing the conversation to help clear such thoughts.
"Anyway...Miwa Yoshimitsu is not my father. Satoshi is not my brother." My chest pangs slightly, but the wound has already become to heal. "I believed they were for a long time. What an idiot I am. I wonder where my real father is."

"It's not important."

Her voice behind me is quiet, soft. Pensive.

I turn around to look at her.

"Where your father is doesn't matter," she says. "Even though we're not related...we have a family." She ducks her head and stares at the ground. "They're a bit strange..." She looks back into my eyes.

Angel.

"...But, Youji-san, Papa, Mama, me and Chiyako-san...we all love you, Yuu."

I am speechless. Shocked.

Was this a confession of love?

No. Knowing Miki this is nothing more to her than a child's admittance of love to everyone she sees. She does not know what she says.

"We're an important family."

I smile. "That's true." I turn back around, start to walk again, and am stopped by my thoughts. "I...was stunned about the extension marriage. After going through so much...my father and mother loved each other. How could they switch partners so easily? But I was used to being shocked...so it was easy to act like nothing happened." I turn my head and grin at her.

Angel.

"No, it wasn't just acting," I tell her, "I was really able to think that way. I was so unemotional. But you were so different. When we first met..."

I smile, remembering that night. She stood up in the restaurant, crying. <<If Papa and Mama change partners...and then re-marry...then...I don't know what I'll do!>>

I chuckle to myself. "Crying like a baby, you opposed them."

I am back in my teasing mode. This is safe. This is familiar territory.

But I wonder...

Miki's cheeks redden. She is between the stage of embarrassment and anger. "B..but that was..." She falls silent. She has chosen embarrassment.

So appealing.

"Unlike me," I tell her, "you're honest and pure. You give everything your all. You have no problem expressing your feelings."

Will I cross the line?

Miki's emotions shift to anger. "You mean I'm uncomplicated."

The wind blows once again behind me, but I do not notice the chill. I am warmed by my decision; what I am about to do will completely redefine our relationship. I catch her gaze and soften my eyes.

"It's why...I love you."

Miki's eyes widen and she is shocked.

Speechless.

Angel.

She finally gets her voice back. "Really?" she asks of disbelief.

I turn and start to walk home. "I told you that before. Seeing you asleep, I had to kiss you...because I liked you." I think of our kiss in the infirmary. And our date at the theme park. "You didn't believe me." I think of Miki's slap across my face from the park, and smile secretly.

"So...you were telling the truth?" she asks, amazed. She is silent for a while. "I..." she runs up behind me. "I love you too, Yuu."

Has this angel just professed love?

I hadn't expected her to. Not today.

Not ever?

I turn around and stare at her. She looks extremely nervous. She's squirming. Poor girl. I shift back into teasing mode...something she knows as safe. Something normal.

"Idiot," I say. "You're just saying that because of the mood."

I wish I hadn't said that. I went straight from teasing back to unfamiliar territory.

"It...It's not that at all. I'm really..."

I've started something I cannot stop. "In the same situation," I say, not knowing whether I'm trying to reassure her or torture myself, "you'd say the same to Suou. Like in front of our gate." I remember Suou trying to kiss her. "It looked like you..." I hurt myself by saying this. "...Liked him quite a bit."

There. I have ended the tension. It's the best way to handle things.

Isn't it?

"You're wrong!" Miki's voice is strong, insistant. I can only stare at her. "I really like Ginta...but only as a friend."

Angel.

"When I found out that Na-chan and Meiko were in love, it felt like he was stealing her. The most important person to Meiko was Na-chan, not me. I was sad." She falls silent for a minute. "And...then I understood...Ginta's a friend like Meiko. I didn't want Arimi to steal my friend away." She takes another step towards me. "But Yuu, you're different!"

I gasp. Miki blushes. She is just as unsure about us as I am. But she is also taking the steps I have previously taken.

"I...I'm in love with you," she says quietly.

The wall between us starts to crumble.

"You're the one...that makes my heart pound. Only you."

The wind blows past me, urging me to go to her, echoing the cry of my heart--to envelope her in my arms and tell her that everything will be right, now that we have found each other.

I walk towards her and slowly bring a finger to her lips. "Your lips...are turning blue." I move my hand to her cheek. She is absolutely freezing.

Angel.

"You're cold...because of me." I remove my hand. "I'm sorry."

Hazel meets hazel and we stare into each other's eyes.

Can we truly allow ourselves to fall in love?

Miki starts to lean into me.

I find myself leaning back.

Can we truly allow ourselves to fall in love?

How do we know unless we try?

Miki's eyes close.

Angel.

I close the remaining distance between us, and tentatively touch her lips. They tell me that they are now mine. Miki is now mine and mine alone.

And I am hers.

Her angel.